Neil Genzlinger takes a cruise on the American Queen riverboat, which paddles up and down the Mississippi, and even stops in my little town. Excerpt:

At least so it seemed, because these people were awfully glad to see us. Generally, the boat traveled at night, and we’d wake up in a new port of call, where we’d be free to go ashore. At Oak Alley Plantation, our first stop, about 50 miles upriver from New Orleans, two young women in full-gown regalia, including parasols, stood at the plantation entrance for our picture-taking benefit. In St. Francisville, La., the next morning, locals handed us carryalls as we left the boat (“St. Francisville: Soothing to the Soul,” was inscribed on them), and the streets were decorated as if dignitaries were expected. In Natchez on Monday morning, a high school band greeted our arrival despite the threat of rain. The Vicksburg Post favored us with a Page 1 photograph under the headline “Welcome Back, M’Lady.” At Houmas House, our final stop, 60 people were on shore to give a welcome, and a woman in a vintage gown serenaded us with a lovely “Summertime.”

I hoped that none of the restaurants in these towns were expecting a windfall as we waddled through, because Ms. Charboneau’s breakfasts had left our corsets rather tight. I did make a small contribution to a culinary enterprise in St. Francisville, buying a glass of lemonade from a young girl with a sidewalk stand on Ferdinand Street. The competition in this particular business was fierce: my girl was asking 25 cents; another stand near a shop on Royal Street called Grandmother’s Buttons (which sells, yes, buttons) wanted 50. I made the obvious choice but followed it up with a less intelligent one; the 25-cent girl somehow inspired me to give her a 25-cent tip. This little transaction, for me, came to symbolize the theme of the trip: It was a seven-day, six-night lesson in the cyclical nature of economics.

The little girl he stiffed is my neighbor! But the market has spoken, alas. It’s good to see all these American Queen cruisers in town. They walk right past my house.

I must confess that I have no interest at all in a riverboat cruise on the Mississippi. It probably is mostly to do with the fact that I grew up on the river, in plantation country, and there’s nothing romantic about seeing another plantation house. That, plus it’s hot. Plus I don’t care for 19th century style. On the other hand, if Leon Redbone were cruising with us, I could be persuaded to go.

You know the kind of pleasure cruise that does interest me? A cruise down the Seine or the Danube, or up the Volga. Julie looked into Viking River Cruises after seeing ads on “Downton Abbey.” This is the first time I’ve ever seen a cruise that sounds like a lot of fun to me. Too pricey for us now, but boy, I sure would love to do something like this.